I'm a butter nazi

My relationship has taught me that not everyone understands or utilizes butter quite like I do.  So for those who'd like to know especially so as to not send me into a fit of rage over butter here are some butter laws.

~Use tubs of "spread" for spreadable butter for toast and grilled cheese and what not.  Having a stick of butter left out in some dish or container leaves extra clutter on your counters and leaves a nasty dish to have to clean.
~Stick butter has its place.  Generally for baking.  When a recipe requires a measured amount of butter cutting a stick of butter is much easier and less messy than trying to measure out spread into a measuring cup.  There is nothing worse than finding some crumpled wax wrapped stick of partially used butter messing up your fridge when there is plenty of spread for spreading.  Some of you might be thinking well what about greasing a pan for baking, stick butter is for baking.  There are better ways!  Use a paper towel to scoop up some spread from the tub and coat your pan using the paper towel to apply.  This means not having to wash butter off your hand or a dish and the applicator is, get this, disposable and inexpensive!  Does it get any better than that?
~Now this one is THE most important so pay attention here.  You want to preserve the integrity and purity of the tub of spread as much as possible.  When buttering toast one might double dip the butter knife, it's ok, we all like a little extra dipping.  You will remain in the clear as long as your keeping crumbs out of the butter.  It's the worst feeling in the world to open the tub and find dirty butter.  Also you should know that spread is already soft enough to easily spread on your bread no matter how thin or soft your bread is.  Do not "churn" the tub of butter.  The butter has already been churned.

Now go and change your butter ways.  And if you'd rather have heathen crumby butter then go do it with your own butter, but heaven help you if you ever defile my butter!