Saturday, July 23, 2011

Buying in "Bulk"

I might have the weirdest taste buds. Those who know my eating habits can vouch for me. Lately though the best sounding meal??? HOT DOGS!!! I don't know what started this. I've always liked them but lately I LOVE them. If you give me any option or a hot dog, I'll go with a hot dog. With that in mind I started my job yesterday, working a road show in a costco. I eyed the huge sign for a hot dog and drink for $1.50!!!! The price alone has me sold but the giant picture with the minced onions has me weak at the knees!!! So after staring at the sign a good 5 1/2 hours I promptly ordered one the second I clocked out. They hand me this little foil wrapped delight but they should have put a disclaimer on the wrapping. I had NO idea what I was getting into. I go over to the condiment area to dress that sucker up and as I peel back the foil I immediately avert my eyes out of habit. I was then embarrassed to have this treat in my hands in public! Yes, I know I find every little thing to sexual that is entirely innocent but I've seen less embarrassing pictures on the internet. I push forward though, I can't just hide this mammoth thing, remember it's costco. Everything is in "bulk"!! Quite literally!! So I just hurry and throw some ketchup, mustard, and onions on there and think at least it's hidden... until you turn it to take a bite and it's staring right at you!!!! I give up and wrap it back up and go to my car where I can eat it somewhat privately. The whole time I'm thinking do people give this to kids?!?! or haha "bulk!"

Further Hair Abuse

Don't ask me the last time I showered....

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Hair Abuse

It is such a curious thing to me that washing my face with a garden hose and the somewhat rare shower is doing incredible things for my hair and skin. And I'm not the only one to notice. I guess a bit of abuse is good for it?? Again life you win! I'll never understand you.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Chance with a Y????

People these days. Met a friend and past hookup of Di-anus's. His name: Chaynce. Pronounced like Chance. I guess his mom figured it needed a y thrown in there though. Such a trend these days too. I mock it openly! Seriously his name in my phone is currently Chaynce with a Y?? What is the world coming to?

Fine Lines

When a guy takes me out and is dropping a lot of money I think one thing: Great how much is he expecting me to put out for this evening?? Sounds like prostitution but I know I'm not alone. You feel obligated to be worth a guy's time and money sometimes.

Case in point: One time a couple years back I was picking up some taco bell real quick as I was hurrying to class. I took just a second too long fumbling with my wallet that the next guy in line just paid. Of course I resisted but he insisted. (lots of sisting) The worst part is all I could do is say thank you and ditch. I had class I was running to, and I informed him of such but to this day I still feel bad that I didn't sit and eat and chat with him at least. I'm pretty sure he didn't plan on paying for a brief thank you and second glance.

So last night a male was seeking my time, however it meant leaving Di-anus to work by herself and driving 20 miles each way. Of course to appease me this male offered a tank of gas for my time. Which puts me right in the dillemma I always hit... I don't need compensated for spending time with a man, I'm no hooker. Or is it more chivalrous for him to offer to take care of me. How many times have I found myself staring down the fine line between chivalry and whoring??? Well it's nice of him... but what is he expecting?? I'm an adult and can take care of myself. But sometimes its sweet for a guy to want to take care of things??

Conclusion: We all know nice guys finish last. Chivalry is how nice guys figured out how to get laid*



*Special thanks to Sween in voicing the conclusion

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

More Van Life

Since moving to the van lots has changed. First thing I notice is my sleeping habits. I hardly need much sleep anymore. I don't have a problem sleeping. I sleep like the dead as always but 8 hours a night is a big thing for me.

Eating is always a challenge!!! No stove, fridge, microwave, etc. I'm becoming severely malnourished I'm sure. If you saw the bruises on my legs I'm sure you'd agree. The weird part is I have more energy than I used to have. Why?? I swear I'll never understand how my body works.

I'm getting better and better at using the reflections off my car as a mirror!!! Success!!

The obvious: getting tons of sun.

Dating life sucks. At best I meet Di-anus's friends or some guy in a bar. If they're cute either Di-anus gets to sleep with them or she already has. And we are both disgusted by sister sloppy seconds so lets not go there. Pretty sure guys at a bar picking up chicks aren't looking for someone who won't sleep with them anyways.

Public bathrooms really are your friend!! Seriously I love a clean public bath. Especially if it has a plug-in. Can clean-up, get ready, and charge the phone!!