Update in Picture Form

Chaynce threw me a surprise BBQ at the bar for my birthday

Chaynce being a zombie for halloween.  He spent several hours being a diva in front of the mirror even after his makeup was done

Chaynce being creepy with a swollen face and black eye (you don't want to know)

It's official... We have Interwebs!!!

Yep as of yesterday afternoon I talked the boo into just turning his phone into a mobile hot-spot.  We only have a few months left on the lease so to avoid all the fees for getting only a few months of internet here we're going with verizon on his phone.  But even better his plan is the old unlimited data plan that doesn't exist anymore so we don't have limits on how much data we use and we don't slow down after using a certain amount.  So of course we've been spending all our time updating the playstation and all Chaynce's games.  We can actually watch netflix on the tv instead of the phone!  I can shop online!! and I've been emailing updates to friends I've been neglecting for most of the last year.  So excited to have interwebs!!

4th of July

Here is what we did for the 4th:

 

Some of us partied a little too hard :)

It was way hot and exhausting.  Here's a hot sweaty pic of us.

 But we found some shade and got some life back into the little guy.

Speaking Chaynce

Turd-cutter:  this refers to your butt.  as in "Babe you have a nice turd-cutter" this is intended as a compliment

That'll push a turd:  this is what food does.  the sole purpose of food is to "push the turd" that your body is making.  If you cooked a good dinner you'll hear "wow that'll really push a turd" again this is intended as a compliment

Vallant:  Chaynce tries to use big words to sound more intellectual, however he often fails.  he makes a vallant effort, a mix between gallant and valiant.  like I tell him, words are hard!

Straight-up, right or wrong, yes or no, period: these are all interchangeable words used when getting worked up in a conversation.  He often uses many of these in the same sentence. 

Calling dinosaurs/speaking dinosaur: this means getting too drunk and throwing up.  The sound of vomiting is supposedly like roaring like a dinosaur

 

And here is a picture of the cool kid, he's like head of the cool kids club (*the sunglasses staying like that is a magic trick, probably something Chuck Norris taught him)

Birthday Card

I haven't posted in forever, I also haven't really made anything.  But for my sister's birthday I made this card and put together this gift.  I felt it was aesthetically pleasing enough to share.  Enjoy!

Quality Pillow Talk

Chaynce: "Arm wrestle for who gets a back rub??"

Lace Ruffle Tank: My love-hate relationship with sewing

 Presenting my newest creation.  Just a tank with added lace ruffle and then I made the plaid belt.  Cute right??

 

But then we hit problems like this.  The back is so plain.  Sometimes I think it's not so bad but mostly I think it looks so awkwardly plain and I'm stuck on the best way to fix it.  If I add ruffles the shirt will be huge.  Just too much volume. I've thought about just putting a lace overlay on the back but considering the stretchy quality of the tank and no elasticity in the lace, it's not gonna work.  I've exhausted my creativity in coming up with a solution.

 And one more sample of my prized work.  If only you could see the hair too.  I've had to come up with cute new ways to have my hair pulled back for work and this one turned out well.

And the moral of the story is: I hate when I put all this effort into making a top and it's not just perfect.  Someone just buy me a Hollister/Abercrombie gift card and we can all put this mess behind us.

Mormons and Crackheads

Jess: Oh are you talking about that obviously mormon guy?
Chaynce:  The big goofy guy in the suit?
Jess: No the one sitting by the door
Chaynce: How do you know he was mormon?
Jess:  I could tell by the neckline of his under shirt, it was garments.  Mormons are just good at spotting mormons I guess.
Chaynce: Ya and crackheads are good at spotting crackheads

Another look at fishtail braided bangs

I did the fishtail braided bangs again and thought I'd share a pic.  Me and little sister, Amy, had a sister date.

 

Fishtail Braided Bangs

You know how french braided bangs are such a trend right now?  They look horrible on me.  I haven't been able to make that look good.  But I found this idea that I do like.  Fishtail braid your bangs.  and I love it. 

And because my hair is pretty long right now I threw that extra braid across the front.  The picture doesn't do it justice.  It was way adorable.

Does he treat you like a queen?

So, I'm kind of starting to see someone.  Ok so it started a long time ago but that just isn't really relevant is it?  I was talking about it with an old friend recently and saying how it's funny because I think I'm always ultimately surprised when things start to work.  Not that I think things shouldn't work out but because the image I've always had in my head for the label "boyfriend" or anything related to that has always been this cookie cutter of a ridiculously normal guy.  Maybe I should just get over the fact that I'm not normal and would hate actually dating Mr. Normal.  I know it's ridiculous but I like to get his attention make eye contact and say wow you're f**ing ugly!  and I love that he so smoothly responds you should try waking up next to you sometime.  It's so endearing to me.  I know for some this would be dysfunctional, but it's just not for me.  We just grin at each other and share the moment of calling each other ugly, how romantic!!

So this friend was playing classic good friend and asked well all that really matters is does he treat you like a queen?  And I freaked out for a minute.  I was like no way, not at all.  And I sat and pondered for a minute wow maybe I'm being dumb and getting into something that's ultimately doomed to failure because I'm overlooking things.  He treats me really well, I could never pretend to deny that but a queen??  I don't feel "spoiled" by him.  I don't think he "worships" me.  But I would never want a guy who treated me like that.  I was so thrown off but the friend stepped in and said no, you're more the kind of girl who wants to deserve what you get.  Exactly.  I have confidence in my relationships because I try to give more than I take from the relationship. 

Which brings on the next thought... Why do we use such cliche benchmarks like "does he treat you like a queen?"  Why are we socially teaching girls that such is the kind of relationship to be desired?  some real food for thought...

Sometimes you have to feed his ego

Sometimes you're hanging out with a guy and he has to go take a ferocious dump.  There's no better way to put it.  And despite turning on a bathroom fan or other attempts to hide evidence of the deed, you're fully aware in great detail what's going on.  And then when he comes back from such an event there is an elephant in the room and said guy will likely have some sheepish look on his face and to ease the tension he will ask did you hear that?  And sometimes you just have to be honest and say yep.  And then comes their awkwardly vulnerable squirm, and that's when you say "It's ok, I still think you're f**king sexy"

Words to live by

What does ----- mean in Mormon??

Among my friends who aren't Mormon we've noticed that Mormons still use slang terms for drinking but just attach different meanings to them.  Hence this conversation between me and dianus ensued....

D: What does wasted mean in Mormon?
J: That you're tired
D: What about tanked?
J: That you were so tired you like just passed out
D: Loaded?
J: you're rich
D: Pissed?
J: angry
D: What about white girl wasted?
J: eh, prob just that you're not temple-worthy
D: What about F-ed up?
J: pregnant

January??

I have no idea where January went?  So here is a quick update for those who follow this to know what goes on with me.  New Years was very uneventful.  Went and visited my sister to meet her new baby in all it's adorableness! 

I had been thinking on and off over the last few weeks about moving back to Idaho.  Just seemed like some good opportunities for me with family, friends, relationships, etc.  So I decided to plan a trip up over MLK weekend to visit and spend time with all my favorite people.  It was a great weekend and I knew it would be hard to go back to Utah.  And wouldn't you know it the second I got back to Utah I was a walking panic attack.  I was miserable and my health was falling apart.  At first I kept telling myself to chill out I had a job and a lease and I would be fine.  But my health and anxiety got so bad I was falling apart.  I consulted some friends about the situation and they encouraged me to make the change as there was a noticeable change in my health between the two locations, so I made the call to my dad and dianus and would move up in two weeks, the 1st of Feb and would bring up a car load the weekend before.  So the month got away from me as I tried to work as much as I could handle between packing and moving and stressing and panic attacks.  So yep I'm back in Idaho, unemployed and still paying rent in Utah for feb and march.  Somehow it feels a lot better though.  I'm still working on getting settled (I'm living in a vet clinic) and finding a job but it's been a good change so far.

Crochet/Braid Headband

So I made this headband the other day.  I really love it and have a few ideas different variations I want to try out.  Just thought I'd share a craft, it's been a while.