Tanning Trends??

Di-anus occasionally picks up some hours at a tanning salon and so I tagged along for some internet, electricity to charge my phone, and some air conditioning! Nice right?? Well they have all these little stickers for people to use when they tan to have a cute tan line kinda symbol. The stickers are a heart, smiley face, lips, a playboy bunny, you know all the normal girly flirty tan lines. But they also had a marijuana leaf. Is that an odd option? I thought it totally didn't fit in at all with the other options and kind of funny. I tend to think that generally most stoners don't spend much time in a tanning bed. I'll probably just never understand the world.

Sister Time

I figure I should use some pics, although these are from a few weeks ago. In the me vs. Di-anus pool competition she won. I didn't expect much anything because I'm horrible at it. But I kept up pretty good. I was proud.


Example of our relationship:
When we went to the street music fair I got hungry and ordered a milkshake and Di-anus wanted some onion rings so I put it on my bill and covered it. Di-anus is drunk and therefore a bit cranky as she usually is when drunk. I snacked on her onion rings and she snapped at me and pulled them away. She came to the realization later once sobered up a bit what she did and that I didn't order myself food and she helped herself to my shake. She apologized a bunch but I didn't much care. I am used to drunk Di-anus by this point. But the next morning at about 7am she wakes me up in the van to breakfast in bed and more apologies. It was kind of cute and very delicious. Sourdough toast with blackberry jam, scrambled eggs with extra cheese, bacon, and apple juice. This is an especially nice meal for van life. Oh our weird relationship!

Do You Get Along??

The common question when people find out Di-anus and I are sisters and staying together people often ask if we get along really well. The answer: NO!!!

How do we do it then? really we're family and have gotten really good at just getting resolving our issues or letting them go. So do we get along, hell no! But we're pretty damn good at making up and forgiving and just learning each others flaws and how to avoid them when we can. Isn't that life though??

Laughable Moments

Di-anus passed out but answering the phone: Ya, ya, I know, gotta go, bye (I could hear the guy on the other end just being confused. What? Hey what you up to? Hey!) hangs up the phone and say something along the lines of cub and says doctor a few times.
Me: Are you awake?
Di-anus: ya, stupid Cub keeps texting me
Me: Do you know what you just said?
Di-anus impatiently snapping: Ya! Cub is texting me when i'm trying to sleep.
Me: No, I mean before that
Di-anus: Ya Cub, doctor doctine..... (goes back to mumbling and passes out)

Even better a couple minutes later she wakes up to a text from the guy who is confused about the call. We pretty much go through the same conversation before but this time is somewhat more alert and says no what did I say? I tell her that she answered her phone and what she said but right as I'm about to finish the story she starts to pass out and screams "f-ing shut up I'm trying to sleep!!!!"

Even better the next morning I explained the whole story the next morning. She thought it was hilarious. She was finally awake for real.

It's about the little things

Last night before passing out I was contemplating how my life has so utterly changed...

Yesterday I used the bathroom at a D.I. (thrift store for those of you who don't know) and a random pub. (for those of you concerned I'm not hydrated believe me I've been drinking a ton! My body is prob just using all fluids as I bike all over in 90 degree heat)

I now pack a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse so I can brush my teeth in some public bathroom. Today I did at a tattoo parlor Di-anus used to work at.

Living with Di-anus!!! As she puts it herself "I'm a belligerent B*tch when I'm drunk" Me: ya, I know. I've immediately become amazing at not taking anything personally. I'm also getting in the practice of keeping track of where something get put or what gets said or whatever happens. Once sobered up something is lost, or what was said? or what happened? It's actually very entertaining to explain what happened and her utter shock to realize "I said that," "he said that," I did that!!!"

Van Life

First of all Van life is kind of hard. Limited space. You can't stand up all the way. No running water. Very interesting though. After the first night of limited sleep we went to my dad's vet clinic to store some of my stuff that I won't be using now that I am sans apartment. Enjoyed some Internet and electricity and running water. (ha ya it's quite the commodity in case you're normal and take it for granted) Then I dropped by my parentals place for a few hours to chat with the kids and drop off a few things. Borrowed some milk so I could have some cereal I've packed. (ya eating is also quite difficult) Then Di-anus passed out on the couch, I think her sleep deprivation caught up to her. So I cuddled up with Poody and we napped on the couch together. Brings back so many tender and precious of napping with my baby! :'(

We got back from Burley in time to help coach cheer out in BFE. Ya some tiny high school who just decided to start a cheer program and Di-anus indirectly knew the coach and offered to help out. It was nice and made me realize how horrendously out of shape I am but nice to re-live the glory days a bit. It'll be a fun little hobby for us for the rest of this summer. Did I mention I totally loved it? Some days I really miss cheering, loved it that much.

So we went home and crashed in the van feeling sore and out of shape only for Di-anus getting me up the next morning to bike. We were gonna shop a bit. But it turned into biking all over town. I loved being on this cute little red vintage bike with a basket (ya i know you're seeing it now, so cute!) So ya a little one-speed bike going all over town and the rider being ridiculously out of shape??? Ya today I am in currently in severe pain! Having to sit down makes me almost weep! I'm telling myself this will get me into shape though and save gas money so I haven't given up the idea of biking yet. Although I'm waiting to heal first!!

Did pick up a few groceries though without spending gas and enjoyed a little street fair that night (I got a ride!) where everyone was getting drunk. (are we seeing a common trend?) Enjoyed the live music and little community atmosphere. And then of course passed out again out of utter exhaustion. My legs are throbbing!

The Beginning

Where to begin.... Decided last minute to move out of my Provo apartment. The mold and crappy place made me exceedingly sick. (Still am wondering if I've developed some kind of chronic lung inflammation??) So with spring term ending and the opportunity to move I thought I'd visit Rico Suave for a time and then go up to Idaho and renew some family times and enjoy the psychotic qualities of my family and small town. However, Rico being busy with a pissing contest at work leaves me just heading straight to Idaho... last night. So I text Di-anus and tell her we'll be slumber partying in the van. I proceed to get a call every hour from drunk sister asking where I am, where I reassure her I am still on track on the way home. I finally get to Twin Falls and call sister several times to wake her from being passed out and meeting me at her work (cute little coffee house, I officially love it although I'm suspecting its haunted) She then jumps on her bike drunk out of her mind and gets pulled over. Yes on her bike. Never having had a drink or experience being drunk I never knew you could get in trouble for drunk peddling?? By some miracle the cop didn't smell the booze on her and she made it to work. It is almost 3 at this point and I am ready for bed hours ago, but Di-anus insists I must stay at work to keep her company (ya she is an early morning cook, ya somehow she's learned to cook something besides toast, and ya its all lovely, healthy baked good that are garnished all cute, I'm kinda jealous) so with my impaired health I insist on sleeping and crash for a few hours on the little couch they have in the corner of the shop. I'm precious I know. I slept like the dead. Literally so heavy that I didn't toss and turn or close my mouth. I woke up with my tongue hard as a rock and dried out. (sounds disgusting and abnormal but its happened a couple times before, not fun) So woke up feeling like garbage and attempted to rehydrate my tongue. I also woke up to this really creepy, evil feeling. No clue why but just ignored it and put it out of my mind. Had to be up so that some bum isn't sleeping on the couch when the place opens at the butt-crack of dawn. Admire Di-anus's lovely cooking skills and met a co-worker who came in to open. I further admired his breakfast making skills and complimented them and asked if he made such precious lovely breakfasts for his wife (it would be so precious and romantic in my head) and he responds "no i do not garnish my wife's breakfasts" haha. (hint: if any man would like to court and further woo me garnishing my breakfast would be a great start) So finally we get out of the coffee shop and back to the van. Ya I drove 10-15mph behind Di-anus on her bike. Good thing it was only a few blocks. We get back and she proceeds to tell me every little detail she's already repeated to me several times throughout the night in her drunken state
Di-anus: tidbit about the night or life lately
Me: Yes, I know
Di-anus: How do you know?
Me: You've mentioned it several times already.
Di-anus: Oh sorry, I was drunk
Me: Yes, again I know

So we get in to the van and enjoy some pillow talk which is very not appropriate to share and also very meaningless. Although I did enjoy the story of how her blanket got "poo" (marshmallow) on it. (cliff notes version: went camping and was roasting marshmallow and it lit on fire. attempted to put in out by shaking it vigorously and sent melty marshmallow flying. Blanket later got drug through it. Ya she did act out the shaking a burning marshmallow violently) So we slept in the bed in the van (love shak) and I was a little disturbed that younger sister living in the van has hella nicer pillows than me. Then I happened to be able to get a few more hours of sleep (4) before Di-anus insisted on getting us up. I've said enough for now...To be continued.....

Reader Discretion is Advised

Alright... a bit impulsively I have packed up and moved. Where? well kind of in limbo. I'm splitting the difference between my sister's van, my parent's house, and the "apartment" at my dad's vet clinic. Decided it was high time for a little less planning and a lot more adventure. So all of my craft stuff is currently in storage. So no more craft posts (Until late august when i go back to normal life) So be warned!! I decided to document much of the entertainment because I know it is a wealth of laughter and enjoyment to those who appreciate my sense of humor. SO BE WARNED!! This blog is going from a G rating to PG13. I'll try to keep things from the R level but for those of you know my sister/family this will take some skill. You are officially warned. Feel free to live vicariously through me!

*reminder: I do swear like a sailor with tourettes but I'll try to be mindful

Lavender Sachets!!!

Sorry for the crappy pics, currently using just my phone :( But I heard about these adorable lavender sachets in all my blog reading and I just had to have some!! Smell great and the cutest things ever!!!! You can find them here. I highly recommend them!! (she even threw in some personalized bonus ones, she's so sweet!)

Support our Veterans

Ok so I just found this adorable dress!! Isn't it incredible?? Found it here. For $32.95 and helps support veterans. Rock on. It'd be at the top of my wish list if they had my size left.

Summer fashion

I'm always shopping. Always! Why? Because I like to find pretty things for great prices!! And I wanted to share a look I love for summer!!! Can't you just see it now?? Riding a vintage bicycle, enjoying the summer sun?? I'd totally buy them and model if I had the funding to. (I'll accept donations though??)

Straw Cloche $15 at tillys.com and the dress is $22.99 at milanoo.com