The Beginning

Where to begin.... Decided last minute to move out of my Provo apartment. The mold and crappy place made me exceedingly sick. (Still am wondering if I've developed some kind of chronic lung inflammation??) So with spring term ending and the opportunity to move I thought I'd visit Rico Suave for a time and then go up to Idaho and renew some family times and enjoy the psychotic qualities of my family and small town. However, Rico being busy with a pissing contest at work leaves me just heading straight to Idaho... last night. So I text Di-anus and tell her we'll be slumber partying in the van. I proceed to get a call every hour from drunk sister asking where I am, where I reassure her I am still on track on the way home. I finally get to Twin Falls and call sister several times to wake her from being passed out and meeting me at her work (cute little coffee house, I officially love it although I'm suspecting its haunted) She then jumps on her bike drunk out of her mind and gets pulled over. Yes on her bike. Never having had a drink or experience being drunk I never knew you could get in trouble for drunk peddling?? By some miracle the cop didn't smell the booze on her and she made it to work. It is almost 3 at this point and I am ready for bed hours ago, but Di-anus insists I must stay at work to keep her company (ya she is an early morning cook, ya somehow she's learned to cook something besides toast, and ya its all lovely, healthy baked good that are garnished all cute, I'm kinda jealous) so with my impaired health I insist on sleeping and crash for a few hours on the little couch they have in the corner of the shop. I'm precious I know. I slept like the dead. Literally so heavy that I didn't toss and turn or close my mouth. I woke up with my tongue hard as a rock and dried out. (sounds disgusting and abnormal but its happened a couple times before, not fun) So woke up feeling like garbage and attempted to rehydrate my tongue. I also woke up to this really creepy, evil feeling. No clue why but just ignored it and put it out of my mind. Had to be up so that some bum isn't sleeping on the couch when the place opens at the butt-crack of dawn. Admire Di-anus's lovely cooking skills and met a co-worker who came in to open. I further admired his breakfast making skills and complimented them and asked if he made such precious lovely breakfasts for his wife (it would be so precious and romantic in my head) and he responds "no i do not garnish my wife's breakfasts" haha. (hint: if any man would like to court and further woo me garnishing my breakfast would be a great start) So finally we get out of the coffee shop and back to the van. Ya I drove 10-15mph behind Di-anus on her bike. Good thing it was only a few blocks. We get back and she proceeds to tell me every little detail she's already repeated to me several times throughout the night in her drunken state
Di-anus: tidbit about the night or life lately
Me: Yes, I know
Di-anus: How do you know?
Me: You've mentioned it several times already.
Di-anus: Oh sorry, I was drunk
Me: Yes, again I know

So we get in to the van and enjoy some pillow talk which is very not appropriate to share and also very meaningless. Although I did enjoy the story of how her blanket got "poo" (marshmallow) on it. (cliff notes version: went camping and was roasting marshmallow and it lit on fire. attempted to put in out by shaking it vigorously and sent melty marshmallow flying. Blanket later got drug through it. Ya she did act out the shaking a burning marshmallow violently) So we slept in the bed in the van (love shak) and I was a little disturbed that younger sister living in the van has hella nicer pillows than me. Then I happened to be able to get a few more hours of sleep (4) before Di-anus insisted on getting us up. I've said enough for now...To be continued.....